Own up to it

I was home in Flint, Michigan, in the fall of 2021, considering moving back after six years in Paris. I missed home, and it seemed that my tenure overseas was coming to an end. I was unemployed and couldn’t find work in either country. The week before flying back to Paris, I ran into an old friend, Oaklin (Oak) Mixon, who ran a clothing company called Goodboy. Oak once asked me to write content for the company blog, and, having seen me, he explained that he wanted to start a publishing company and asked if I’d like to build it with him.

I was eager to work with Oak. Though I returned to Paris, we began registering the company, website, and branding. Oaklin fell sick within a few weeks and unexpectedly passed away a few weeks later in December 2021. I did my best to continue the project without him, but I never processed his passing. January 2022 marked the beginning of what I now see was a three-year-long depression—leaving a trail of hurt in its wake.

I met who would become my wife in August 2022—still unemployed and still hurting. Though a glimpse of my true self would present itself at times, I had gained a habit of impulsive and explosive reactions. These were mostly directed at things outside of my control, especially foolish things like politics, but it was difficult for her to witness this. I began work for a fintech in the summer of 2023 but left after the company began downsizing within months of my arrival. We were engaged at this point, and I was not well, and I did not do what I needed to do to get well.

My wife and I were married in 2024, and I tried again to build the publishing company, which was a mistake for a newlywed to do. My wife started having trouble with certain aspects of our marriage. Instead of helping her through this, I directed all of my explosive reactions toward her, and we separated after only six months. By January 2025, I was angry at her and God, unjustly so for both. I lost my faith and told my godfather to stop asking me to pray. I began seeing other women, and I planned to divorce my wife.

And then, Easter came.

Shortly before, I had done my first act of faith in over half a year. I prayed for work since I was now going on 16 months unemployed again. That act changed everything. In May, I felt the weight of my actions, went to confession, started counseling, and decided to take responsibility for the pain I caused my wife, her family and friends. Though they were open to forgiving me, the pain I’ve caused is difficult to move beyond. Though I wanted to reconcile, she would prefer to divorce, and she is right to take this action.

Having regained clarity of mind and my faith, I see my marriage as valid. This means I must forgo several plans I had for my life and live as a celibate. Here’s what I am asking you to take away from this:

-Get help the moment you see the darkness creep in.
-Though you love your partner, love them a little more today and tomorrow.
-Love everyone where they are.
-Do not get caught up in these pointless incessant battles that seem to permeate all of society.
-Own what you did and move forward.

Hence, I will do my best to live according to the above admonitions. I will fail sometimes, but I will keep trying. I will end with a final apology to every person I have mistreated: friends, family, colleagues, former partners, et al., and above all, my wife.

Regardless of your beliefs, I pray the peace of God will abide with you, and I will dedicate my life to prayer for reparations of my sins and for the sake of the whole world.

With love,
Myron